Ruined
by NJCD
Summary: "If you found out I wasn't perfect. Would you leave me?" Clare wiped her eyes on her sleeve, "Just stay with me." He stroked her hair, "I never was gonna leave." (One-Shot) (AU)


**Author's Note!**

**__Well, I haven't written in a while...umm...yeah. I started school again. Oh, I got in a fight! Like, a fist fight at school! I lost. I apparently went down and one punch and now have a concussion, so I can't remember the fight. Anyways, I may be just resting for a while, ya know?**

**And, another thing...I have different people wanting me to do different stories. Some people want me to continue 'A Secret', some want me to work on a sequel to 'Forced Love', and some of you want more chapters of 'Auction'...I mean, people want different things. And maybe you guys and gals want to request a story? I don't know...**

**But, for now, due to my concussion, I may just stick with one story to work on or do some one-shots (like this). So, drop a review or send a PM on what you want.**

**_-NJCD_  
**

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_"Asher, sto-" Clare was cut off by his harsh voice, "If you wanna keep your job, you'll oblige." He had been driving her home, but pulled over in a wooded area and managed to force her into the back seat. "Please, I wanna go home. I won't tell anyone." __Asher had other plans, though. He had undid both his belt and zipper and was fumbling with Clare's, all with one hand over her mouth._

_As Clare sobbed, Asher attached his lips to her neck and placed forced kisses all of her. He moved lower, to her chest and attempted to expose her chest. And as much as Clare kicked and tried to fight, he managed to reveal her chest and pull her pants down, just enough..._

_He had violated her, took advantage of her, and stole her innocence. He had ruined her. And when he was finished, he drove her home, and threatened her not to tell. She swore she wouldn't._

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"Are you okay?" Eli asked Clare. She was absentmindedly flicking a Bic lighting. "Clare?" She shuddered and glanced up. Eli looked worried, and no wonder. Clare's mood had dropped significantly in the last few weeks. "I'm fine." The lie past easily through her lips, almost robotically.

He slumped his shoulders and stared at her with saddened eyes. She wasn't fine. She was _far _from fine. "Is it something I did?" He asked, dreading the answer. What if it _was _something he'd done. What if her depression was his fault?

"I said I'm fine, Eli." Clare repeated. Eli stood up, and Clare thought he was leaving. Right as she was going to apologize, he sat next to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, causing her to immediately tense up. Eli didn't notice, so he just rested his head on her shoulder. She had let the lighter fall from her hand to the picnic table they were sitting on.

Clare wanted to trust Eli, she really did, but she had trusted her boss. She had trusted him, and look how that ended up. She suddenly felt safe in Eli's arms, as ridiculous her mood swings seemed to be, and leaned against his chest. Then, she began over thinking. _'Did Asher use a condom?' _She wondered, _'My eyes were closed...what if he got me_ pregnant?'

A sob escaped her mouth. She began crying into Eli chest. "Whoa, what's wrong, babe?" She only clenched his shirt with her hands and soaked his t-shirt with her tears. When she had gathered herself just enough to speak, she asked him, "Can you take me home?" He stared at her tear covered face, "Do you wanna talk?" She shook her head, "Just...please. Take me home." He stood up and laced their fingers together. They walked in silence towards the beat up, used, crappy 2001 Toyota Eli occasionally drove.

Eli opened the door for her and walked around to his side. He had managed to get his license back, and was happy to be driving.

The drive was a short 5 minutes. When Eli pulled over, Clare instantly reached for the door. "Clare." She turned towards him. "If you ever wanna talk, you have my numbed." She opened the door, but Eli grabbed her arm, "I mean it, love. I really do. I'm open for talking." She glanced down and pried his fingers off, "Thanks." She whispered and slipped out.

Inside, she went straight to her room and bawled. She wanted to run to Eli, to hug him, to just be loved by him. But she was terrified. What if he finds out? What if, somehow, he finds out what happened to her? What if he finds her disgusting and leaves? Clare opened her drawer and revealed a razor from the bottom of it.

With several quick motions, she sliced her wrist. Nothing too deep, just to release the pain. She cleaned up and cried herself to sleep.

She awoke at 5:23am, from a nightmare. No, not a nightmare, a _memory._ A memory of what Asher had done to her. She got her clothes on and rode her bike, in the dark, to Eli's house. Not bothering to knock on the front door, she walked upstairs and very softly knocked on Eli's door.

No response was heard, so she opened the door and slipped inside. Eli was lightly snoring. Clare tip toed to his bed and, as quietly as she could, slipped under the covers. His body was so warm, so protecting and safe. She moved closer to him and placed his limp arm around her body.

Eli groaned, "Mom?" Clare snuggled closer to him, "No...it's me." He opened his eyes, though couldn't see Clare in the dark. "Clare? What're you doing here?"

She kissed his jaw, "I had a nightmare." His eyes sagged, "A nightmare? That...That doesn't explain why you're here, love." He pressed his lips to Clare's, "You wanna talk about it?"

She immediately shook her head, "Just-Just...hold me." He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the nape of her neck, "Did you walk her?"

"I rode my bike." She responded. She took a breath and turned to face Eli before asking, "Do you love me?" His expression turned upset. Did he love her? Of course. She knew that. Why was she asking? "Yeah, I love you. You know that." He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her gently, "Do you love me?" He asked.

A smile came over her face, and she forgot about everything else. She forgot about what happened with Asher, the cuts and her fright. "Yes." But then, it all came back. Images flooded her mind and her eyes began to fill with tears. "Are you-Are you gonna leave me?" She asked him.

"What do you mean?" His response was laced with confusion. Clare wiped her eyes on her sleeve, "I mean...if you found out I wasn't perfect. Would you leave me?" He gaped at her, "What? Leave y-I could never leave you! There's nothing you could tell me that would change my love for you, Clare. Why are you asking me this? What's going on?"

Clare buried her face in his chest and choked out a, "Nothing. Just hold me." Eli, who was _already _holding her, closed his eyes and attempted to go back to sleep. With both of them snoring contently, the room had a peaceful silence. Eli, who hardly dreamt, was having a dream of marrying Clare. However, Clare had a much different dream. She dreamt what she dreamt whenever she slept.

She relived what had happened that day, what had happened only 2 weeks ago. Her body shook and she tried to get out of Eli's hold, mistaking him for Asher. "Clare? Clare, stop!" He sat up and tried to wake his girlfriend.

"Please-please, I won't tell anyone. Asher, stop." Eli grabbed both her wrist and lifted her up, "Clare!" He yelled, "Wake up!" She opened her reddened eyes and saw Eli holding her. Her lips trembled; she didn't know what to say. She had thought that being in Eli's arms would stop the nightmare, but it didn't.

"You're hurting me." Clare choked out and tugged her arm. He slowly unraveled his fingers, which had some blood on them. "Are you bleeding?" He reached for her wrist, but she held it to her lap, hidden from his eyes, "It's nothing."

"Clare." He said sternly, "Let me see." She glanced down at her arm and then held it out to Eli. "What-What-" Eli traced his finger over the cuts, some of which were old and some of which that had opened. He looked up at her, "Clare, what are these? Why did you do this?"

"You wouldn't love me if I told you." She pulled her arm away and slid the sleeve back down. "Tell me what?!" She sighed, "Eli, it's fine." He scoffed, "This isn't fine, Clare! You're not fine!" He took a breath, and more calmly said, "What is going on with you?"

"It-It's something that happened with-with Asher." She whispered. "Yeah?" He tried to look her in the eye, but she was staring at her lap. "Umm, he-he was driving me home after my co-op." Eli leaned against the wall, "What happened?"

"Don't make me say it." She begged. "I don't even know what you're gonna say!" He yelled, with sudden volume. He had an idea, but...but that, couldn't happen to Clare. No one could do that. Not to Clare. She was perfect. Clare stood up, "I have to go." She said and stood up, making a reach for the door. Eli grabbed her by her waist, "Talk to me, please!" He insisted.

"Please, Clare..." He trailed off, "I can't handle being left in the dark." Clare turned around and hugged him, "Just stay with me."

He stroked her hair, "I never was gonna leave."

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**Oh, y'all should check out '****_Just a dream or was it?'_**** by****_ amazed with life._**** It's a really awesome story and you guys should leave a review. Personally, that's one of my 2 favorite stories right now, along with _God Gave Me You _by _Silentwriter987, _which you should also check out.**


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